Random song? I think not.

Darius Rucker's song 'Learn to live' I don't know why but it really hits home for me...
I was driving in the "truck" (Really the SUV) I did that old favorite game of mine where I ask a question to the I pod or my Zune which ever one I am currently listening to.

I asked, "What am I doing wrong in my life?"

I got this as an answer, Learn to Live. I know what most people would say that is just a silly thing it's not true and you shouldn't trust things like that. Well... I guess I am just that silly person that dances in the car to a life changing song that I found of shuffle.

I never said I was a conventional person at finding out who I am...

Here are the lyrics....

Grandpa Campbell would sit upon his front porch
And I'd be right there, just sitting on his knee
He'd tell stories of love and feast and famine
And I'd hang on to every word that he would breathe
He'd said boy as you walk through this life
Here's a little wisdom that'll help you get by

You gotta live and learn
You gotta crash and burn
You gotta make some stances
And take some chances
You gotta live and love
And take all life has to give
You gotta live and learn
So you can learn to live

Well, I left home and I went to Carolina
I then set off just to see what I could see
I did some things that I wasn't really proud of
Sometimes life just got the best of me
But I'd always think back to those days
And I know what Grandpa Campbell would say
He'd say

You gotta live and learn
You gotta crash and burn
You gotta make some stances
And take some chances
You gotta live and love
And take all life has to give
You gotta live and learn
So you can learn to live

After years of runnin' round and searchin'
I found me a woman who loves me just for me
All those mistakes I thought that I was makin'
Led me right here to you sittin' on my knee
Son, as you walk through this life
Here's a little wisdom that'll help you get by

You gotta live and learn
You gotta crash and burn
You gotta make some stances
You gotta take some chances
You gotta live and love
And take all life has to give
You gotta live and learn
You gotta live and learn
So you can learn to live
Learn to live


So the song isn't my life it's his. That's not the point. It's not a Taylor Swift song where she writes for girls her age and younger.

Just some of the lyrics that really popped out at me...

You gotta make some stances
And take some chances

All those mistakes I thought that I was makin'
Led me right here to you sittin' on my knee

Lately I have been thinking about motherhood. Would I make a good mom? I had to think really hard about that one. I know that some people know right away that they will be. Or some with the opposite answers... After I heard that song... It made me realize I cam be a good mom. I can do it. With every single thing that I have put myself in and gotten myself out of. Or didn't put myself in but got myself out of... I can help my kids not make those mistakes. I know... My kids will make mistakes and get hurt.

I want to be the kind of mom my mom is. That no matter what it is or what has happened that she always had a band aid ready for me. I know that she doesn't know everything, and if she does she wont tell me because she doesn't want to see the pain go across my face again as I remember what has happened to me.

I don't know... I guess the song was a good pick me up on a gloomy day...

I just want to be a better person.

Christin


Over and Out.